grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
