i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
