Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
