Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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