You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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