3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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