my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
