Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You kept calling me your small dog last night.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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(516): View more from New York

i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second

(631): View more from New York

i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead

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(845): View more from New York

tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker

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(404): View more from Georgia

Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

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(720): View more from Colorado

My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

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(530): View more from California

I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.

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