I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
