Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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