he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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