She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
