Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
