Pappa wants mamma naked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
