My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
birth control should be required to get into college
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
