She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
NoShamevember. You game?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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