toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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