i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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