Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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