I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
