This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
