it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
