WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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