the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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