So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
