should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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