HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
