she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
