so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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