I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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