Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need a beard to bite.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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