theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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