remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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