And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
