Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
