lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
