yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
