If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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