38 yer olds are good kisserssss
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
