my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's blow job season.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
