So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
