We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
