and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
