i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
