Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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