i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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