But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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