Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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