Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
