wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
