I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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