The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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