he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
