Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
